Exclusive: Edinburgh Council launches beer ageing scheme

Posted by on Apr 1, 2014 in Editorial | No Comments


Last year, Edinburgh City Council announced the biggest shakeup of their refuse collection services for a generation. I think we can all remember where we were, when we head the multi-bin approach for recycling was to go – I certainly do; I was in Leith, waiting for a tram. News filtered through that the coloured boxes were to be replaced by a single bin, into which householders would simply place all their glass, packaging, and everything else to be collected. This would then be taken away, and sifted through at some nameless depot, out of sight. Questions naturally followed about what would happen to the existing multi-coloured bins under the new system.

Well, this website can reveal exclusively why one of them is being retained: Edinburgh Council are set to launch a scheme encouraging the public to age beer.

I have been contacted by a Council spokesperson, who declined to be formally identified, but told me the following – “To be honest, the whole sort n’ bin thing got totally out of hand – we ended up with up to ten different boxes for recycling! I mean, who’s going to bother with all that? Anyway, so we shifted it all into a single bin, and someone else can take care of it. That left us with all of these boxes in people’s homes; how could we put them to good use once their wheelie bin multi-functional recycling repository arrives?”

“Edinburgh used to be world-renowned as a centre for brewing. Although a few have opened over recent years, we as a Council want to remind the people of this city what one of our primary industries used to be. I’m not talking about lager here, I mean proper, real beer. The kind of beer that is designed to taste better after being left to mature for a few months. So, we are re-issuing one of the old recycling tubs as a dedicated receptacle for ageing beer. What could be more Scottish than hiding something wonderful away out of sight?”

The bare bones of the plan will see every household within the bypass flyered with instructions on the following:-

– What beer is
– Why beer is good
– What beers taste better after being aged
– Why beers taste better after being aged
– How to go about ageing beers
– Why this isn’t a joke

As part of the programme, Edinburgh Council have appointed a team of Beer Wardens, who will be making housecalls across the city, advising locals on their choice of beers to store in the boxes. Not before time, either; reports have already come in of some householders filling their ageing tubs with ice. The spokesman went on to say, off the record, that the Council had originally intended to do something relating to Craft Beer, but discovered that Glasgow City Council had already trademarked a scheme relating to Craft, it being Glasgow. So, Edinburgh decided to focus on clinging on to something old for as long as possible, it being Edinburgh. Also, I am unable to confirm reports that a second ‘wine-ageing’ box will be issued to select households, beginning with those in Morningside.

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