Porterboy Speaks

If you can see though it, I’m not interested. File it in the same pigeonhole as lemonade, sparkling water, gin and tonic. Then upend the pigeonhole in the sink. As it swirls down the plughole, if you can still see the plughole, let it go. Dark beer is where it’s at. Go and throw plastic chairs around in a European square if you like lager. Drink it from your Sun-branded plastic bowler hat. I’ll take no part. Sit in a cave for three weeks if that’s your thing, let those ‘flavours’ come together. Do that, and think how many decent beers you could have drunk in that time.

Shorts Brew Black Cherry Porter could have been one of those things. But, sadly, it isn’t. A journey of discovery, with no abv on the label (turns out it comes in at 7%) and mention only of added ‘black cherry puree’. Fair enough. Dark needn’t mean bland, after all. Light beer has a handle on that. This one is very dark – black as night. Spumey head surges upwards, a brownish-burgundy colour – even knowing the added ingredient this comes as a surprise, and one I can’t work out whether I like or not.

Carbonation! Why? It thunders around the mouth, a sizzling cloud of chocolate and cherry, blackberry jam and sugar. Then the tart finish arrives. Not for this one the gentle, slow linger from roast to dry roast. There must be a fair whack of yeast in the bottle – it’s settled out at the base of the glass as a white slick, spiralled downwards out of the beer column. Similarly, this is where the beer falls down – the sharp tangy fruit, rich chocolate, and yeast flavours jar against each other, running three separate races into the aftertaste.

Lagerboy is away