Glassware grumbles

Last week, this article by Ben McFarland in the Guardian raised a thunderous outpouring of torrentious bile. Ben, the current BGBW Beer Writer of the Year, suggested – in an article I’m guessing was more than slightly tongue in cheek – that it was time to maybe, possibly, get rid of the nonic pint glass from British pubs. As of today, 553 comments later, presumably Ben’s face is up behind every pub counter in the land (or on the dartboard). As much as the shining lights of the blogeratti like to push the ‘snifter of DIPA, and keep the change from the fiver’ attitude, it seems comments like these show the ‘craft’ message is still very much in the minority. Just think if this article had appeared in the Daily Mail…

“Stick to your little bottles and leave the men to it, son”

Unsurprisingly, the spector of manliness pervaded much of the commentary. This person clearly has never chewed his way through a 22floz bottle of Stone Arrogant Bastard. In fact, they would probably never even consider drinking something served in fluid ounces.

“I’m sick to death of identikit pubs with a ‘wide range’ of over-hopped, yellow, ‘craft ales’ made by micro-breweries run by ex-bankers”

Ahh, the other c-word. Whether or not something is craft is something that will run and run, as long as we have no rigid definition on this side of the Atlantic. Also, the longer the financial crisis lasts, the more unemployed bankers will be out there – so this scenario could be eerily prophetic.

“Now everybody including men has to drink from what used to be called “a lady’s glass”? Another sign of the progressive feminization of British society led by London NW1 trendies and health fascists”

Where to begin with this one? Under what circumstances was a “lady’s glass” used? By the wives in their unheated side room, away from the men in the snug? Clearly, someone here fears for their masculinity. They probably also live in London.

“I can’t stand these new Beer Connoisseurs. They are such a collection of bores. They tried to do the same to tea back in the 1990s. It worked for a while before everyone realised a tea bag in a cup is all they wanted. Give me a pint of cheap beer in a pub in an old fashioned pint glass, end of story. Why are people ashamed of it?”

It’s not really the beer Ben was questioning, more the serving vessel. True story – a friend of mine once tried to make a cup of tea in a pint glass (and a nonic pint glass at that), only to have the whole thing crack in half when he poured the boiling water in. Lessons were learned that day.

“I have to say I hate those fancy wine glasses you get with lagers these days and routinely ask for the plain nonik style tankard. Some of them are over a foot long and prone to falling over. Its like drinking beer from a vase”

I actually agree with this – having once seen three Erdinger bulbed pint glasses topple from a bar. The mess was horrendous. Much better for putting flowers in (if you live in London NW1).

“Your assertion that pints are unappealing is ridiculous, clearly many people (including myself) find them extrememely appealing. A pint is too much? Man up! You’re an adult right? Act like one”

Man up! Great phrase. Particularly when slapping the face of a comatose drinker outside the Dog and Duck at midnight.

“While we are at it why don’t we call WWII a draw and ask the 1966 World Cup squad to hand back their winners medals?”

Ah. Maybe it was the Daily Mail after all…