By the bonny, bonny banks of the St. Lawrence…

BeerCaster MrB marches dans la pub

L’Isle Noire

Named after a Tintin book in which our hero travels to Scotland in search of a legendary ape (no, I am not making this up), l’Ile Noire is a “Scottish” pub in the heart of Montreal. If you’re lucky (or unlucky depending on your point of view), you can catch live bands composed of ancient bearded soaks playing fiddly-widdly Celtic tunes – and if you’re really lucky/unlucky, a bagpiper or two.

L’Ilse Noire boasts 140 brands of Whisky – its primary attraction for me. On the beer front it stocks local tipples from Ste-Ambroise to Belle Gueule and ex-pat favourites such as Guinness and Killkenny. With its extensive whisky menu and my favourite Quebecois beer, L’Ecossaise, on tap, The Black Isle has become a fairly regular haunt of mine.

Unfortunately, for all the quality produce behind the bar, L’Ile Noire can feel a little Disney-esque. The walls are painted to look like a medieval castle, with lamps that look like flaming torches. One wall shows a mural of rolling Scottish hillsides and, bizarrely, a cannon – presumably pointing towards England. Now, I don’t know about you, but after 6 years of living in Scotland I don’t think I ever drank in a castle. Or a dungeon. Or, indeed, anywhere with a cannon.

Last Friday night I was musing on the theme park aspects of this ex-pat haunt while enjoying a 12 year old Bowmore and a pint of L’Ecossaise. The two very attentive (and very French) waiters were wearing Jacobite Highland Dress and, though the drink-fueled haze, I suddenly noticed something odd about them.

They had their kilts on the wrong way round. With the pleats at the front. Both of them. It just seemed to sum up the whole North American Heritage Industry beautifully.

Whisky Cafe

If you care more about your whisky than you do about “authentic” atmosphere, check out the Whisky Cafe. With over 150 brands of whisky, including the ones that you could only ever afford to buy by the shot, Whisky Cafe is a real afficianado’s dive. If whisky isn’t your thing they stock ports, sherries, rums and crap beer. To be honest, if you intend to drink beer, don’t go. They also have one of the few remaining cigar lounges since the smoking ban was introduced.

The decor is ultra-contemporary and includes the most interesting toilets in Montreal. Really. Check them out.